A life so changed...

And one more time the thing I believe the most came true again:

- opportunities come and go but the ones that are for you are kept aside. You just need to look around and keep your eyes open.

- follow what you want and don't hold back. It will come as long as you fight for it.

The things that happen are the right ones to happen.

Next page...

Food for thought

2 things i realized in the past 2 days:

1. No matter how much we are searching for opinions from others regarding our decisions and insecurities it will never be the answer we wanted. Where is the fine line between asking for opinions and feedback and going in one direction based on someones opinions? When is the moment you say stop and just take your own decision?

2. People change. I change. What makes the difference is if we try to get to know them once in a while. They might have changed exactly those things we were judging them for.

9th of November.

Tuesday.

01:02 a.m.

Tired.

Norah Jones - Not too late - perfect song.

Preparing a training for new members of AIESEC Bucharest.

"Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” Earl Shoaf - perfect quote.

Still not clear. Undecided.

Belief: The best thing comes when you least expect it.

1st comment: if you don't see it or hold on to it, you loose it.

2nd comment( question): where is my next least expected moment?

Future, please knock on my door!

16th Octomber. It's getting cold in Bucharest. Hmm, I guess cold weather reminds me of Oslo.

My life is happening in Bucharest now but I'm always with one step ready to go. Strange feeling. Everything happens here but on the other hand I wait for the moment to see myself in the plane and just go somewhere to start something new.

I realize I think too much and I over analyze everything around me. Trying to change that. But trying doesn't mean it goes well:)

Step 1: one week of not worrying about what happens starting with December.

Until then:

when you want to scream, scream

Take a big bag. A resistant one.

Take a deep breath.

Put the bag in front of your face and scream.

Sometimes we need to scream and let our emotions and feelings go. I would like to scream. But it's freaking quiet and I might seem crazy. Romanians are still not that careless and they might think something is wrong and call the police. That would be funny though:))

So, whenever I feel that my feelings, thoughts, emotions want to say something I don't scream. I listen to music. A song that expresses perfectly what I think or feel. Or I use a quote and put it on my desktop. Most of the time is a song.

Worried today. For us. For me being naive, for me believing in something, for you not being strong enough, for us, not being able to make it and fade away in time.

One year from now, no matter what. How will it be? How will I be? How will you be?

How we will be? We or me and you?

I need you to tell me it will be fine.

Or I would rather not talk about it, than knowing it's not fine.

It's not about people vs feelings this time. It's about you. And me.

Reflection time in vacation;)

Waiting. Sometimes we wait for something we believe it's right to happen. But do we realize that "the right thing to happen" it's not the same "right thing" for others.

We ask ourselves and we create scenarios in our head every day.

Does any of those scenarios work out? For me it never did. Then, why we still do it?

I figured out that I create my scenarios and it never works out as planned. So, I should let it go and just see what happens. Live the moment. Life is so freaking short to over - think everything and to regret and analyze and try to change things.

And life is no fairy-tale so don't be to surprised when there is not all the time a happy ending. It will be but it only depends on us, on me.

I do believe every choice you make is your OWN no matter if you are constrained or not by the environment. Just make your choice.

And FIGHT for what you want and who you want. Don't let it go.

And LOVE. Love your friends, love your family and love that special person in your life. Find that person first though ;) Show them as often as possible.

Yeah, sometimes I need to wake myself up:)

In Oslo rains and I'm crying

Why though? It was a good year..probably this is the reason

Why do people feel sometimes inferior to others even if they don't have any reasons for it?

How can we change it? How do you build up your confidence?

Confidence makes the difference between good and great I guess..
But what is that thin line between confidence and arrogance?

surprised...

by people, life, choices, results, future

the day when I am surprised in a positive way.

Thankful for this..it shows me that everything will be fine

Wrong choices...

This month...June 2011

Hard, challenging, different

Looking back to everything I have done before..that one is clear... it's blurry when I look ahead...to find that RIGHT thing, that RIGHT direction, those RIGHT friends, that RIGHT person and that RIGHT place to be.

My wrong choices squeezed in one month and seems that practical there is no time or energy to deal with everything.

Tired- studying for my exams, thesis, not able to find that right internship or right place to be, not clear with myself or my future and struggling for last results to define a successful year in Norway and my challenges back home with my mom.

The question is? How to manage my time and emotions when it's too much to cover and I strive for being perfect in all of them?

Is everyone going through this?How do you manage?

But in the end I try to tell myself everyday:

Yes I can and everything will be fine

But how things can be fine if nothing doesn't fit in any way? You know, when you search for the puzzle pieces you make it work just because you have the right ones to put them together. But what if I don't have the right ones but I still try to put them together?

I watch this video or I read this: http://happy-thursday.posterous.com/ ;)

The HOW

Just came home from a really nice dinner with amazing people. As usual the interns:) Haha, I hope that I will be a cool intern in my internship;)

I take now a couple of minutes to enjoy this beautiful night on the balcony, listening to music, the river and watching the moon. And listening and ordering my thoughts. As I noticed in AIESEC I became more introvert and I need more time to reflect and stay with my own thoughts. Well, I guess it's good, to take this time and actually look at things objectively and have an overview about everything that happens.

Well, I realized something today, something that I knew for so long but kind of ignore it.

I'm scared.

About everything. This are my last months in AIESEC, the place that changed me and made me what I am today.

I don't know where my future is heading. I feel that I grew up, that I changed, people around me changed. They are less. But the most important ones though. I guess it's good.

I feel that I gave importance in my life until now only to professional things only to fun stuff and work.

I feel I need stability. I need to build something. With someone. Like me.

I feel I want to invest in this. Not to speed up the process of it or to rush into things, but to give it a chance.

I feel I want to focus on less things, but on more important ones.

I need to face the brutal reality, give up to a lot of things and actually use as an advantage what I have, what I am, what I learned, what I became.

I need to have this impact that we talk every day about it. No matter if it's AIESEC or not.

This time, it's not AIESEC anymore.

It's just me. My confidence, my path and focus. And my important things. No one else's .

Now I know the what. I know the why. I feel it.

Now I just need the how.

R

Not right

Why in our professional life we always learn from mistakes and we are really good every time we measure our competency as being active learner, while in our personal life we suck at this?

I realize that I can excel so good in my professional life, I can always be better at things or I always know what I need to better at it.

While in my personal life, I'm so bad with...well..almost everything!

If someone would evaluate my competencies that we evaluate in AIESEC, in my personal life I would never pass the group interview or even the application form;)

My question here is why? Why this difference? Why we can't actually manage or lead our own personal life as we do in our professional life?

Here I see that I never learn from mistakes and I always do the same mistake and the problem is that I'm conscious about it, rationally speaking, but emotionally I never seem to learn.

The question in on the table. The solution, not.

Curious when I will have the answer to this question.

Confused and emotionally stressed,

R

Drama or happiness - sometimes you need both of them to feel alive.

Some stories have happy ending some don't. It just is. You get up from the ground, take the dust away and continue walking.

Because it just is.

fair trade?

Some people think that professional life can substitute what is missing from personal life. I'm wondering, do they have sex with their computer?

big smile:)

Check this song here

If you think this is a cute song, that you might think about doing this someday or something close to it and smile when you hear it, well...let me know:))

Change direction

Decided for one week or so to add a new blog or to change this dramatic-random-questioning-sad-happy-strange-old blog:)

Still deciding on the topic of the new blog: social issues or marketing or ...other topic. This week I'll decide on my topic and write my first post.

Decided!

:)

Questions for today?

What will people remember you for?

What are your unique selling points?

What are your strengths?

We hear this questions every day, but do we give an answer every day ?

I really need to get my answers today.

Facing failure..

What do you do when you feel that in some parts of your life you failed? And it's not a question if you feel like you failed or not, but it's a fact.

How do you react to it?

What do you do next? How do you make it work? Because the problem is that specific point you are not able to just let it go, you need to take it as a failure and make it work.

I'm not letting myself fail when I have something that I believe I should make it work; when it's my priority. But when you actually fail it? What then....???

Pick yourself up and move on. No matter what people say. You will do it. And I will do it. Right?

....

The year for change...2011

A new year. 2011. New ideas. New dreams.

For sure this is the year that will change my entire life. It's the year when I decided I will take a different path of my life, in another place in the world with other people. Now I realize that I leave so many things behind: friends, experiences, places and memories.

And sometimes I actually ask myself if I should do it. Just take the opportunity that comes and see what happens.

But sometimes I have doubts. I feel alone. I feel that my close friends are not next to me. That I need to reinvent myself and rediscover myself with every new direction I choose. I feel lost...

In the end, everything that happens comes down to what? To the people, the family - current and future, to the adventures and discoveries that I make, to what ?

Now I feel that actually, at the end of the day, I don't have that person that can be unconditionally there. So, in the end, everything that I search for is to have close people and friends that I can count on what ever happens?

If I want this, then why I want to go and explore the world, discover, learn, do everything but not in one place, not with the same people?

So, now, it is a fight between stability and adventure. What should be? What is the answer?

Sincerely, I don't know. Because if I have one, I feel that I need the other. So....??

The year for change. What will it be?