The HOW

Just came home from a really nice dinner with amazing people. As usual the interns:) Haha, I hope that I will be a cool intern in my internship;)

I take now a couple of minutes to enjoy this beautiful night on the balcony, listening to music, the river and watching the moon. And listening and ordering my thoughts. As I noticed in AIESEC I became more introvert and I need more time to reflect and stay with my own thoughts. Well, I guess it's good, to take this time and actually look at things objectively and have an overview about everything that happens.

Well, I realized something today, something that I knew for so long but kind of ignore it.

I'm scared.

About everything. This are my last months in AIESEC, the place that changed me and made me what I am today.

I don't know where my future is heading. I feel that I grew up, that I changed, people around me changed. They are less. But the most important ones though. I guess it's good.

I feel that I gave importance in my life until now only to professional things only to fun stuff and work.

I feel I need stability. I need to build something. With someone. Like me.

I feel I want to invest in this. Not to speed up the process of it or to rush into things, but to give it a chance.

I feel I want to focus on less things, but on more important ones.

I need to face the brutal reality, give up to a lot of things and actually use as an advantage what I have, what I am, what I learned, what I became.

I need to have this impact that we talk every day about it. No matter if it's AIESEC or not.

This time, it's not AIESEC anymore.

It's just me. My confidence, my path and focus. And my important things. No one else's .

Now I know the what. I know the why. I feel it.

Now I just need the how.

R

Not right

Why in our professional life we always learn from mistakes and we are really good every time we measure our competency as being active learner, while in our personal life we suck at this?

I realize that I can excel so good in my professional life, I can always be better at things or I always know what I need to better at it.

While in my personal life, I'm so bad with...well..almost everything!

If someone would evaluate my competencies that we evaluate in AIESEC, in my personal life I would never pass the group interview or even the application form;)

My question here is why? Why this difference? Why we can't actually manage or lead our own personal life as we do in our professional life?

Here I see that I never learn from mistakes and I always do the same mistake and the problem is that I'm conscious about it, rationally speaking, but emotionally I never seem to learn.

The question in on the table. The solution, not.

Curious when I will have the answer to this question.

Confused and emotionally stressed,

R

Drama or happiness - sometimes you need both of them to feel alive.

Some stories have happy ending some don't. It just is. You get up from the ground, take the dust away and continue walking.

Because it just is.