Life is crap sometimes. Then I go to sleep.

Well, there are those fucking crazy moments when you believe that everything is upside down and nothing is going right.

Usually when this happen, I like to go to sleep even though I'm not actually doing that. Why?

Because I always thought that after I sleep all the problems and crazy stuff go away and things come back to normal and it's a new day with new problems;)

The surprise was actually when I discovered that even though I went to sleep, the problems come back. Silly me, I always know that but probably I'm the person that hopes that the end will be exactly how it should be. Disappointing when this is not actually true.

Sometime I consider myself as a naive person. Well, I actually am. Or probably not realistic when it's needed and loose myself in thoughts and people.

Since I'm in Norway I start to analyze myself quite a lot and my experiences in the past year. Quite a surprise when I actually realized that I changed! The thing is that now I'm in the process of analyzing whether it's good or bad. Or just normal.

So things that I should promise myself to do, because I get lost in all the problems and responsibilities and forget about me. Shit, it happens so often.

so: 1 . trust myself..i usually trust myself in things that i have experience in..but not good, this should change. and starting with now, it will change.
2. read - an objective that stays for quite some time in my mind and feel that i don't do any progress at all. well, starting with now it will change.
3. finish what you started. i have this crazy fear that usually if i don't start something on time i'm not able to do it anymore perfect. bullshit. not true. so this fear should go away.
4. let things come naturally - force it when it's not working it's not a good strategy to get what you wish. if you try, and you try and you try and still things don't work, let them go.
5. get to know new people and keep in contact with dear friends. that's simple. talk with new people and don't forget about your friends that are in this big world.
6. be curios.

kind of a lot...6 things on the list is hard to focus on because there are too many.

but, in the end this is something that for sure will make me better tomorrow than today.

so, this time I'll not go to sleep but I'll see things from outside of the circle.

Raluca

What you really need...

Sometimes you realize that there is something missing through out your chaotic life. But in the end is the moment that counts. Perfect moment, perfect persons and the final piece of the puzzle completes the middle of the entire picture. It's there somewhere, but usually comes at the right moment. Probably it's not right now. But make sure that it will not pass you by.

Until then my words are lost in lyrics...

"Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent”

Raluca

in my own hands

My heart is in another place right now. In Oslo.:)Writing this lines at my laptop in my new apartment.

Usually things that happen to us can be put in so few words or in numbers.

My life in numbers:

3 & 1/2

365

1

4

45

2

For 3 weeks and a half I've been in Oslo and left my Bucharest and my romanian life. For something challenging and different. To become a better person in what I do, to define myself, to define my direction, my path.

My life in the past 3 weeks is completely different than I expected. In a better way actually. I feel safe here, I feel more courageous, I feel more independent and different. In the same time, I miss my dear friends and my life back home. Even though it's been so few weeks I feel that is quite far away. And I'm afraid to loose what i had before, I'm afraid to get lost in this chaotic life that i choose to have. Because in the end it's only me with myself, and I afraid not to lose me from myself.

For 365 days i will be in Norway, Oslo for AIESEC in Norway. Simple as that. 365 from my life will be in a different world, with different people, with a complete different experience.

1 AIESEC in Norway, that I strive for, to make it better and successful.

4 great people that i met and today i realized that i work with them, spend my time with them and live together. That's a bit strange for me, because the persons that i share my life with are so few and not even them know me so well, because i don't let people to get to know me so well. I'm quite curios how is it going to be this year. Actually i'm quite confident. I feel so good with all of them because we work good together, we have fun together , we help each other and we are becoming friends, not only colleague from work.

45 B is the number of street of my new apartment, where I learn how to live on my own, to have my life in my own hands and to discipline myself and my life.

2 person that i really miss. My mom that is waiting home and my dad that is somewhere next to me:)

My great friends from home that are spreading their wings and choosing their path in their life. Sometimes I feel that we grow up so fast that we don't have time to enjoy the things around us and we go into the real life and things are changing and will never be the same again.

Mixed feelings in my heart and hard to define myself right now. But I'm on the right track. :)

Now i'm going to watch some movie with my friends.

Raluca