when you want to scream, scream

Take a big bag. A resistant one.

Take a deep breath.

Put the bag in front of your face and scream.

Sometimes we need to scream and let our emotions and feelings go. I would like to scream. But it's freaking quiet and I might seem crazy. Romanians are still not that careless and they might think something is wrong and call the police. That would be funny though:))

So, whenever I feel that my feelings, thoughts, emotions want to say something I don't scream. I listen to music. A song that expresses perfectly what I think or feel. Or I use a quote and put it on my desktop. Most of the time is a song.

Worried today. For us. For me being naive, for me believing in something, for you not being strong enough, for us, not being able to make it and fade away in time.

One year from now, no matter what. How will it be? How will I be? How will you be?

How we will be? We or me and you?

I need you to tell me it will be fine.

Or I would rather not talk about it, than knowing it's not fine.

It's not about people vs feelings this time. It's about you. And me.

Reflection time in vacation;)

Waiting. Sometimes we wait for something we believe it's right to happen. But do we realize that "the right thing to happen" it's not the same "right thing" for others.

We ask ourselves and we create scenarios in our head every day.

Does any of those scenarios work out? For me it never did. Then, why we still do it?

I figured out that I create my scenarios and it never works out as planned. So, I should let it go and just see what happens. Live the moment. Life is so freaking short to over - think everything and to regret and analyze and try to change things.

And life is no fairy-tale so don't be to surprised when there is not all the time a happy ending. It will be but it only depends on us, on me.

I do believe every choice you make is your OWN no matter if you are constrained or not by the environment. Just make your choice.

And FIGHT for what you want and who you want. Don't let it go.

And LOVE. Love your friends, love your family and love that special person in your life. Find that person first though ;) Show them as often as possible.

Yeah, sometimes I need to wake myself up:)

In Oslo rains and I'm crying

Why though? It was a good year..probably this is the reason

Why do people feel sometimes inferior to others even if they don't have any reasons for it?

How can we change it? How do you build up your confidence?

Confidence makes the difference between good and great I guess..
But what is that thin line between confidence and arrogance?

surprised...

by people, life, choices, results, future

the day when I am surprised in a positive way.

Thankful for this..it shows me that everything will be fine

Wrong choices...

This month...June 2011

Hard, challenging, different

Looking back to everything I have done before..that one is clear... it's blurry when I look ahead...to find that RIGHT thing, that RIGHT direction, those RIGHT friends, that RIGHT person and that RIGHT place to be.

My wrong choices squeezed in one month and seems that practical there is no time or energy to deal with everything.

Tired- studying for my exams, thesis, not able to find that right internship or right place to be, not clear with myself or my future and struggling for last results to define a successful year in Norway and my challenges back home with my mom.

The question is? How to manage my time and emotions when it's too much to cover and I strive for being perfect in all of them?

Is everyone going through this?How do you manage?

But in the end I try to tell myself everyday:

Yes I can and everything will be fine

But how things can be fine if nothing doesn't fit in any way? You know, when you search for the puzzle pieces you make it work just because you have the right ones to put them together. But what if I don't have the right ones but I still try to put them together?

I watch this video or I read this: http://happy-thursday.posterous.com/ ;)

The HOW

Just came home from a really nice dinner with amazing people. As usual the interns:) Haha, I hope that I will be a cool intern in my internship;)

I take now a couple of minutes to enjoy this beautiful night on the balcony, listening to music, the river and watching the moon. And listening and ordering my thoughts. As I noticed in AIESEC I became more introvert and I need more time to reflect and stay with my own thoughts. Well, I guess it's good, to take this time and actually look at things objectively and have an overview about everything that happens.

Well, I realized something today, something that I knew for so long but kind of ignore it.

I'm scared.

About everything. This are my last months in AIESEC, the place that changed me and made me what I am today.

I don't know where my future is heading. I feel that I grew up, that I changed, people around me changed. They are less. But the most important ones though. I guess it's good.

I feel that I gave importance in my life until now only to professional things only to fun stuff and work.

I feel I need stability. I need to build something. With someone. Like me.

I feel I want to invest in this. Not to speed up the process of it or to rush into things, but to give it a chance.

I feel I want to focus on less things, but on more important ones.

I need to face the brutal reality, give up to a lot of things and actually use as an advantage what I have, what I am, what I learned, what I became.

I need to have this impact that we talk every day about it. No matter if it's AIESEC or not.

This time, it's not AIESEC anymore.

It's just me. My confidence, my path and focus. And my important things. No one else's .

Now I know the what. I know the why. I feel it.

Now I just need the how.

R