In Oslo rains and I'm crying

Why though? It was a good year..probably this is the reason

Why do people feel sometimes inferior to others even if they don't have any reasons for it?

How can we change it? How do you build up your confidence?

Confidence makes the difference between good and great I guess..
But what is that thin line between confidence and arrogance?

surprised...

by people, life, choices, results, future

the day when I am surprised in a positive way.

Thankful for this..it shows me that everything will be fine

Wrong choices...

This month...June 2011

Hard, challenging, different

Looking back to everything I have done before..that one is clear... it's blurry when I look ahead...to find that RIGHT thing, that RIGHT direction, those RIGHT friends, that RIGHT person and that RIGHT place to be.

My wrong choices squeezed in one month and seems that practical there is no time or energy to deal with everything.

Tired- studying for my exams, thesis, not able to find that right internship or right place to be, not clear with myself or my future and struggling for last results to define a successful year in Norway and my challenges back home with my mom.

The question is? How to manage my time and emotions when it's too much to cover and I strive for being perfect in all of them?

Is everyone going through this?How do you manage?

But in the end I try to tell myself everyday:

Yes I can and everything will be fine

But how things can be fine if nothing doesn't fit in any way? You know, when you search for the puzzle pieces you make it work just because you have the right ones to put them together. But what if I don't have the right ones but I still try to put them together?

I watch this video or I read this: http://happy-thursday.posterous.com/ ;)

The HOW

Just came home from a really nice dinner with amazing people. As usual the interns:) Haha, I hope that I will be a cool intern in my internship;)

I take now a couple of minutes to enjoy this beautiful night on the balcony, listening to music, the river and watching the moon. And listening and ordering my thoughts. As I noticed in AIESEC I became more introvert and I need more time to reflect and stay with my own thoughts. Well, I guess it's good, to take this time and actually look at things objectively and have an overview about everything that happens.

Well, I realized something today, something that I knew for so long but kind of ignore it.

I'm scared.

About everything. This are my last months in AIESEC, the place that changed me and made me what I am today.

I don't know where my future is heading. I feel that I grew up, that I changed, people around me changed. They are less. But the most important ones though. I guess it's good.

I feel that I gave importance in my life until now only to professional things only to fun stuff and work.

I feel I need stability. I need to build something. With someone. Like me.

I feel I want to invest in this. Not to speed up the process of it or to rush into things, but to give it a chance.

I feel I want to focus on less things, but on more important ones.

I need to face the brutal reality, give up to a lot of things and actually use as an advantage what I have, what I am, what I learned, what I became.

I need to have this impact that we talk every day about it. No matter if it's AIESEC or not.

This time, it's not AIESEC anymore.

It's just me. My confidence, my path and focus. And my important things. No one else's .

Now I know the what. I know the why. I feel it.

Now I just need the how.

R

Not right

Why in our professional life we always learn from mistakes and we are really good every time we measure our competency as being active learner, while in our personal life we suck at this?

I realize that I can excel so good in my professional life, I can always be better at things or I always know what I need to better at it.

While in my personal life, I'm so bad with...well..almost everything!

If someone would evaluate my competencies that we evaluate in AIESEC, in my personal life I would never pass the group interview or even the application form;)

My question here is why? Why this difference? Why we can't actually manage or lead our own personal life as we do in our professional life?

Here I see that I never learn from mistakes and I always do the same mistake and the problem is that I'm conscious about it, rationally speaking, but emotionally I never seem to learn.

The question in on the table. The solution, not.

Curious when I will have the answer to this question.

Confused and emotionally stressed,

R

Drama or happiness - sometimes you need both of them to feel alive.

Some stories have happy ending some don't. It just is. You get up from the ground, take the dust away and continue walking.

Because it just is.